need another drink. this is the easiest way
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
