So many bounce houses so little time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize