omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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