Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
