Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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