quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
