Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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