he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
