you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
