stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
