Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
