So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
