you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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