She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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