Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
