Nicole vs. Life
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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