I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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