Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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