Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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