i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
