I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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