Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
two words: eviction party
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
