u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
