I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
