When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
