Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I supernannyed him into submission
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