Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
