I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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