They should really pass out barf bags in church
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
