it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
