Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
