OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize