Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
