I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
