They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
