Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
