he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize