sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
