At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
