I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
