Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
