Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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