i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
