I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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