I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the day after is always just damage control
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Alive.
So much puke
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
its liver damage thursday
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
