Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
