He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
