let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
