You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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