my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
smell my finger.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
