I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
