So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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