i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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