Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
