I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
