This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
